The Day Job Survival Handbook

Congrats! And… condolences. You’re about to embark on the thrilling adventure of white-collar life: endless emails, relentless calendar invites, and the slow drip of lukewarm coffee straight into your soul. Today you’re bright-eyed and eager, tomorrow you’re a hollowed-out husk who once dreamed of meaning. That’s where The Day Job Survival Handbook comes in. Having slogged through a parade of gigs, Matt Visconage (UCB, The Onion) has built up the skills—and yes, the bandwidth—to help you endure the work-life balance where work is life and life is work. Packed with tricks to decode office absurdities, this is your only shield against the humiliations of steady employment. Welcome to cubicle country: a land of passive-aggressive Post-its, meetings-that-should’ve-been-emails, and the quiet horror of free cake in the break room. Visconage arms you with the wit, wisdom, and mild rebellion you’ll need to navigate the corporate jungle—and maybe even survive it. Grab your coffee, grit your teeth—let’s circle back. Advanced Praise "If you want to take your workplace cog game to the next level, put yourself in the hands of the maestro. Matt's heartbreakingly chipper advice on how to navigate a stupid, pointless job is essential for anyone hacking away in the cog mines—it'll make you laugh and cry and whimper, just like you do at work!" —Jenn Spyra (The Onion, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert) “The Day Job Survival Handbook is the satirical guide I needed as a fresh-faced college graduate entering the big, bad workforce. By the time I emerged into freelance work a decade later, grizzled and dead inside, I had to transform myself back from a cog to a real live girl. Matt’s hilarious and depressingly accurate depiction of how to hack it in the modern workforce is a much-needed addition to the satirical gift book canon.” —Caitlin Kunkel (New Erotica for Feminists)